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Sexual Violence Semi-Rant
Yesterday I went to an event about sexual violence. I listened to a lot of statistics I’d already heard until they said that only 2% of women lie about being raped.
And these ignorant males behind me were all “that can’t be true blah blah thats wrong”.
-__________________-
You sir just became part of the problem. First of all why are you here. Second of all it’s the belief that women are just lying all the time about being sexually assaulted that contributes to the low prosecution rates of rapists and that normalizes sexual violence and harassment in the first place.
Because obviously women are sick and twisted and lie about traumatic incidents just to be vindictive towards men.
Disgusted.
I do agree that a lot of the sexual violence conversations take place with women. It’s time to (as organizations that can have a greater impact and reach larger groups of people) start having this discussion with men. Consent is a very important concept to be aware of.
I also heard that in some case somewhere dealing with sexual assault, once the consensual sex act has begun, but then a woman changes her mind and says no, the person has 20 seconds to stop before it’s considered rape.
I’m not sure if like I’m supposed to keep a stopwatch by my bed or just start counting but if I say stop I’m most certainly going to need you to make an immediate withdrawal. You don’t get to get your last few strokes in. NO. If i want you out I WANT YOU OUT. GET OUT MY HOUSE. GET OFF MY LAWN. Just go. This is my property, MY BODY. If I don’t want someone in my house anymore I tell them get the fxck out. NOW. There is nothing different about this situation. Don’t pass go. Don’t collect 200 dollars. Just go or you’ll REALLY go straight to Jail.
The general socialization of women to place the needs of others before their own and naturalistic models of sexuality where needs (usually male) are given the status of biological urges or drives result in many woman internalizing a sense of responsibility for men’s sexual pleasure. Hence, women find it difficult to say no to sex. Moreover, they realistically fear the consequences of saying no.
Liz Kelly
(‘Its Everywhere’ Sexual Violence as a Continuum)
