P.S Sincerely, Adventure

Posts tagged thoughts

I was wondering today….

I’ve never heard white gay men referred to as being “downlow or DL”. I’ve only ever heard it used in the context of Black gay males. More specifically those who continue to sleep with and date women, while secretly dating and sleeping with men. White men are oftentimes referred to as being in the closet.

Now I’m not an expert on gay issues…

But its interesting to look at how the language has been fashioned around black male gayness. Homosexuality is already seen as a large threat to black masculinity (in a culture where masculinity is highly valued). The use of the term downlow has such baggage around it. So much weight. It feels so negative. And dark. Whereas a white gay male who is simply in the closet just “hasn’t come out yet”. Its just furthers the stigma of homosexuality within the black community.

I could be wrong…but that’s just an observation I have.

I have been doing a lot of critical analysis over the past few months. As a women and gender studies major I have been exposed to the injustices that exist in the world not only gender wise but racially as well. But thats a slight digression for the topic of this post. SO ANYWAY i’ve been doing critical analysis over women’s lives. How we live to fulfill this role of “ladylikeness” (not a word but you understand) and how much BULLSHIT it is. (use of that curse word just then wasn’t ladylike see?) You want to control my speech and silence my words because what I say seems out of the norm for women? Not gonna happen. Not how this works. BUT slight digression.

I’ve always held an idealized view of women and their sexuality. Not sexual orientation here. I’m talking about women as sexual beings. Which is to say as human beings…I never believed you should have sexual relations with someone outside of a relationship. This was my FIRM stance. I don’t think you should be having sex with more than one person at a time and you should wait until you find someone special to lose your virginity to (still believe that actually).

But i’ve never realized how much shaming I do to women who express their sexuality. a natural human instinct. Of course slut is a social construct in itself because there is no one who can provide a concrete definition of what a slut is. Is it sex with more than 5 people? More than 3? Does oral sex count? What if you’re bisexual? Are you promiscuous? There’s no way to define “slut”. And if these circumstances can determine slutiness what are we calling men whose numbers have exceeded both hands? Who let random girls give them oral sex frequently?

This is why I’m making a conscious effort not call ladies sluts, whores, or hoes anymore. Its just not fair. Why do we hold women to such a high standard? Why does fulfilling one’s sexual desires make you less of a human? These ideas about what makes a “woman” are rooted in old times when women were expected to do nothing but cook and clean, reject education and the right to an idea and satisfy their husbands.

Women need to be looking out for themselves. Financially, emotionally, and if so sexually. If you have an appetite EAT. When i’m hungry I eat. When men are horny they find a warm place to nestle their man parts in. Why is it women are getting “fucked”? Who said I’M not “fuckin” YOU? And you men won’t even know it. If you wake up the next morning and you’re sent along your way with a wave goodbye you were “fucked” last night homie. No you can’t stay. No you can’t get breakfast, no I don’t wanna talk just leave. Have a good one.

That’s how the world should be.